I did the fingerprinting yesterday and I should be cleared for an ID badge sometime this week. The closer I get to making this happen, the more I keep thinking about whether or not I should even be doing this. I know I can do it, that’s not the problem. I just wonder how hard it will be seeing kids in public school that ought not to be there, the ones who would be doing so much better if they had the option to homeschool. I guess it’s no different than me working at the preschool. Two of my kids tried preschool and didn’t much care for it and I wasn’t about to force it on them. It’s difficult for me to watch the preschoolers who are not ready to separate from their moms getting dropped off and left crying in my arms. There is only one in the class of twelve I’ve been subbing who does that and she calms down fairly quickly, no more than five minutes, but I know that if that was my child, I wouldn’t want her crying for me for five minutes. I do feel good knowing that I am there gently distracting her from missing her mommy instead of how some teachers ignore her and leave her to learn how to self soothe as some of the parenting methods encourage.
Some of my friends were surprised when they heard that my daughter who homeschooled for most of her education became a kindergarten teacher (she did 3 months of pre-k, 2 years and 3 months of high school and 4 years of college). It surprises them that a homeschooler now teachers in public education. It doesn’t surprise me because I know how much she loves little kids and enjoys teaching them. She has a great perspective having been exposed to some public school and a lot of homeschooling. She knows she has to meet certain objectives, but she does it in a way that the kids have fun and enjoy their time at school. She bonds with the children and their parents and builds a good rapport with all of them.
I don’t think I’ll have the opportunity to affect the students I sub as much as my daughter does, but I hope to do what I can.